


Is this paradise?

by ms_moony



Series: Marauders Shorts [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, First Kiss, Fluff, Gay Remus Lupin, Gay Sirius Black, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Sixth Year, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Oblivious Remus Lupin, Pining, Sexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:00:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29639169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ms_moony/pseuds/ms_moony
Summary: Remus Lupin had a problem.That problem consisted of feelings, and his best friend, Sirius Black.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Marauders Shorts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2177868
Comments: 2
Kudos: 42





	Is this paradise?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So,,, I've never written fanfiction before, but I have read my fair share and just thought I'd share something short with you guys! I might write more if anything comes to me but don't expect much <333

Remus Lupin had a problem.

To put it bluntly, Remus Lupin was in love with his best friend, Sirius Black. 

Or at least that was the conclusion he came to after realizing he’d been staring at the other boys’ hands for what felt like hours during a particularly boring potions class while Professor Slughorn droned on about the properties of Billywig wings.

Every little thing that Sirius did just made the boy fall harder. When he’d brush his hair out of his face, or twirl his wand between his fingers in class, or even when they were eating breakfast in the Great Hall and he’d accidentally get a stray bit of jam on his chin.

Remus figured out fairly quickly that these were not things that one noticed about their best friend. Or at least not things that best friends thought about late at night when they had their hand down their pants.

Remus had always loved Sirius, in a best friend type of way, but more recently he realized that it was more than that. The worst part was that Remus had absolutely no idea if Sirius felt the same way. He didn’t want to ruin his friendship with him, or with the Marauders for that matter. Remus knew that if they found out, he could lose his best friends, and that was the last thing he wanted.

So Remus ignored Sirius, to the best of his ability. 

He would come to find out that ignoring Sirius Black is nearly impossible. The boy was one of—if not the most—physically affectionate people on the planet. He constantly grabbed everyone around him and pulled them into a hug so tight you wondered if you could breathe.

And it was worse for Sirius’ close friends. It was as if he had no concept of personal space whatsoever. This didn’t use to bother Remus, but now, the slightest glance from Sirius would make his trousers feel tighter and he’d have to quickly leave the room to spare himself from embarrassment.

Remus had it bad, he wasn’t sure how he’d be able to survive his sixth year at Hogwarts with the constant thoughts of Sirius’ mouth, neck, and hands, and no, stop that Remus!

He sincerely hoped that whatever this was, would go away as quickly as it came and Remus could return to never thinking about feelings again.

He was never a big fan of feelings. 

From a young age, Remus Lupin had closed himself off from those around him, fearing that his existence only placed a burden on others. He never really had any friends before the Marauders, and even then, he didn’t initiate the friendship.

But ever since he befriend the three other boys, every aspect of his life improved. Except for, of course, his furry little problem.

—————

Now, in his sixth year, Remus remained reserved from his peers and had only recently begun to open up to his best mates. Of all his friends, Remus had to admit that he was closest to Sirius. Whenever he was feeling down, Sirius was always there to give him chocolate from Honeydukes and make his worries flow away. 

During one fateful day after the recent full moon, Remus was feeling very sore and too tired to move so he remained curled up in his four-poster bed with the curtains closed. His friends had all made their way to breakfast in the Great Hall, except for Sirius, who was worried for his friend.

Sirius pulled back the curtains of Remus’ bed and carefully climbed in. Remus hurriedly made room for the other boy.

It wasn’t entirely unusual for the two of them to share a bed. After particularly bad full moons or a row between Sirius and Regulus, they both found comfort in each other’s beds.

This was perfectly normal for them.

Except it wasn’t. Because Remus and his newly discovered feelings for Sirius felt otherwise.

“Hey, Moony,” Sirius said as he sat down on the end of the other boys’ bed.

“Hi, Pads. Why aren’t you going to breakfast?” Remus replied, raising an eyebrow to hopefully distract himself from his closeness to his friend.

“Oh, I wasn’t feeling hungry, besides, I wanted to talk to you,” Sirius said, looking up at Remus.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Remus shifted in the bed, suddenly feeling the tension grow in the air between them. What did his friend want to say? And why did he have to be so bloody close to say it?

“Anyways I was just wondering if I…” Sirius stopped talking after seeing the inquisitive look on Remus’ face.

“If you what, Pads? You can talk to me about anything, you know that right?” Sirius scooted towards Remus so that their knees were touching as they both sat criss-cross. 

“Yeah I know Moons, but I don’t want to ruin anything.” 

“Ruin anything? You’re scaring me, mate.”

Sirius took a deep breath and continued, “Can I kiss you?”

Remus blinked, his jaw fell towards the floor.

Did he hear that right? Did his best friend that he has been pining after for six months—arguably more—just ask if he could kiss him?

“K-kiss me?” Remus stuttered out, feeling the temperature in their dorm rise.

“Never mind, I shouldn’t have asked in the first place.” Sirius turned to climb out of Remus’ bed until Remus shot his hand out to grab the other boys’ wrist and pull him back down.

“No wait,” Remus said “I didn’t say no, I-I’m just confused. Why would you want to kiss me?”

“Well I’m certainly not gonna kiss James, that’d be weird,” Sirius replied exasperatedly.

“But snogging me wouldn’t?” Remus continued to stare at Sirius, still unsure if this conversation was really even happening.

“No. Obviously.” Sirius leaned closer to Remus.

Blush was creeping up Remus’ face as he realized the reality of the situation, but he still couldn’t understand why Sirius was here, in his bed, wanting to kiss him.

Remus put a hand on Sirius’ shoulder, “I’m a bloke, y’know?”

“Oh really, I hadn’t noticed, thanks for the clarification, Moony.” Sirius said while laughing quietly.

Sirius’ hand reached up to hold the nape of Remus’ neck.

The touch should have scared Remus—surprised him—but instead it grounded him. This is the same Sirius that helped him get through his transformations. Stayed up late on nights before big exams to help prepare them both. Snuck chocolates to him during long lectures in History of Magic. Went with him to the infirmary whenever he wasn’t feeling well. This was the boy that he always felt most comfortable with. 

Sirius leaned in even further, almost closing the gap between them. With one last look into Remus’ eyes, Sirius pressed his lips to the other boys’. 

Something clicked. It felt right. It felt perfect. 

Sirius pulled Remus closer with the grip on the back of his neck. Sirius’ fingers curled into Remus’ soft, brown curls, while Remus remained slightly dazed from the weight of it all. 

The kiss was gentle, and chaste, and not at all the way Remus had expected Sirius would kiss.

And Remus thought about kissing Sirius a lot, whether he would admit to it or not.

After a long few moments, they both pulled away from the kiss, catching their breath.

“I knew it!” Sirius exclaimed excitedly.

“Huh?” Remus replied, still in a dazed trance from being kissed by his best friend.

“Well, it’s just that I think I’m queer.” Sirius said, suddenly looking ashamed. “I never really cared much for snogging birds, but this proves it.” 

Remus couldn’t erase the look of shock off his face. His best mate was queer for one thing, and he had chosen to kiss him? Of all people? Why not James, or one of those fit Ravenclaw blokes that girls are always squealing over.

“Ok…I’m happy for you Pads,” Remus didn’t know what to say, there were too many thoughts racing through his brain right now.

“You’re happy for me?” Sirius said, exasperated. “I tell you I’m queer after we kiss and you say ‘you’re happy for me?’ Come on, Moons.”

“What? Did you want a congratulations or something?”

“No, I just thought you’d tell me your secret too.” Sirius raised an eyebrow and flashed his trademark smirk.

Remus suddenly felt flushed. “What? My secret? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh come on Moony, you know what I’m talking about.”

Were they talking about the same thing? How could Padfoot know? Remus didn’t think he had ever been too obvious about his crush. Save for that one time James had caught him staring at the long-haired boy for ten seconds too long to be normal and subsequently asked him what was wrong. Remus blamed it on the upcoming full moon, as he usually did.

“How did you know, Pads?” Remus asked almost too quietly for the other boy to hear, suddenly feeling very shy.

“Well I didn’t know for sure, but now I do,” Sirius chuckled lightly. “I mean, Remus, you never really showed much interest in birds. Even when Mary was cozying up to you during that one Halloween party you just kept scooting away.”

“Well maybe I just didn’t like Mary very much, it doesn’t make me queer.” He was feeling cornered, Sirius knew Remus too well.

“Merlin, Remus I didn’t mean it that way. I wouldn’t care if you liked blokes.”

“Ok.” Remus took a deep breath, “I do like blokes, if it concerns you so much.” 

“There. That wasn’t so hard was it.” Remus suddenly remembered their closeness and what Sirius’ mouth was doing not five minutes ago.

“W-what? Why are you even here, Pads?” Remus inhaled a shaky breath.

“I thought I had made that clear,” Sirius replied snarkily.

Remus scoffed and rolled his eyes, “I’m serious Pads”

At the mention of his name, Sirius laughed loudly and gave his usual response, “No, I’m Sirius!”

“Ugh, come here you bloody git,” Remus motioned for Sirius to climb next to him against the headboard of Remus’ bed. 

Remus lifted his hand to rest on Sirius’ jaw, his thumb brushing over his cheekbone. Sirius shuddered slightly at the touch.

“How long?” Remus asked in an almost-whisper.

“A long time… since fourth year I think.” 

“Hah! I’ve got you beat; third year for me, when you and Prongs wouldn’t shut up about who could snog more girls and I just didn’t understand the appeal.” Remus looked into Sirius’ eyes and saw the boy he had fallen in love with. The kind, caring, selfless Sirius that no one knew except for him.

This time, Remus leant in, pressing his lips to Sirius’ and pulling him closer. He longed for that feeling of belonging he felt every time he was with Sirius, that feeling that reminded him of his mum, Hope, or when he got his Hogwarts letter. A feeling of pure, inconsequential, bliss.

Sirius kissed him back with the level of ferocity that Remus had expected. It mirrored his rebellious, uncaring outlook on life, and was the exact reason Remus had fallen for him in the first place. 

Sirius’ hands grazed down Remus’ chest before they were rudely interrupted.

Suddenly, with a loud thud, both James and Peter opened the door to their dormitory and their gazes fell onto Remus’ bed—or rather, what the two boys on the bed were doing that involved their entire bodies being pressed against each other.

Sirius quickly pulled back from Remus and almost stumbled onto the floor. “Hah! Wormtail I knew it.” A frown flashed across Peter’s face, “Alright James I’ll give you this one,” And proceeded to fish five galleons out of his pocket to give to James.

“What are you on about, Prongs?” Remus was feeling thoroughly confused.

“Oh, just that Wormtail and I had a bet on how long it would take you two idiots to finally get together.” Sirius’ jaw fell, “You had a bet on our relationship?”

“Of course we did Padfoot, you two aren’t very discreet.”

Sirius fell back onto Remus’ pillows with a loud groan. “Let’s get to class then shall we?” Sirius looked up at Remus with a look that said a thousand words. 

They both readjusted their robes and swiftly followed James and Peter out of their dorm. Remus bit his lip and leaned down to whisper into Sirius’ ear, “Want to get back to where we left off later tonight?”

The blush on Sirius’ face was worth any embarrassment they’d feel from the other two Marauders.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos greatly appreciated! <3


End file.
